Re-Release: How was your matrescence with Dr. Alexandra Sacks

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This week’s episode is a re-release, as I head into my own matrescence! Motherhood is a fulfilling yet challenging journey. Most women experience changing moods, irritability and loneliness. These emotions can be really confusing, because society has taught us that motherhood is supposed to be an enjoyable journey.

In this episode, reproductive psychiatrist Dr. Alexandra Sacks shared her knowledge about matrescence or the journey of motherhood. She explained the normalcy of these changing moods and confused feelings that mothers experience. Join us for an eye-opening and inspirational episode, for every woman who is exploring identity and motherhood.

You can download a full transcript of this week’s episode here.

As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so once you’ve listened to the episode, come and join me there.

Key Takeaways From this Episode:

Journey Towards Reproductive Psychiatry

• Going through her medical training, she believed in forwarding women's issues. She has also worked with matters regarding violence against women. Dr. Sacks is also a feminist. (06:12)

• Thus, she shifted her focus on pregnancy and childbirth during medical training because she wanted to help women. She considers the field as special and sacred, where one of life's important events happen. (06:48)

• Reproductive psychiatry is a field of medicine concerned with women's mental health. It is the perfect combination of her political interest in feminism and her love of being with women during pregnancy and postpartum. (07:17)

• She wanted to use her strength in listening and storytelling to help women deal with pregnancy and postpartum issues such as anxiety and depression. (07:36)

• Reproductive psychiatrists seek to protect women's mental health while making sure their babies are safe. (09:13)

Learning About Matrescence and Delivering a TED Talk

• As she started her career as a reproductive psychiatrist, she noticed that some women do not show the signs of postpartum depression. Their hormones are adjusting to the motherhood phase. (12:08)

• Motherhood makes women choose among the people they love, whether it is their best friend, husband or even themselves. This phenomenon is one reason why new mothers are experiencing mood swings and loneliness. Reproductive psychiatrists help them sort their feelings and deal with such emotions. (12:42)

• Matrescence is the different transitions women experience when they become mothers. It is not the same as depression. (14:22)

• When she shared about matrescence, her patients were relieved. Dr. Sacks gave a TED Talk about it, and the idea of matrescence became widely known, helping many women. (16:49)

• When people talk properly about matrescence, there is a higher chance of preventing postpartum depression. (18:42)

Matrescence in Women

• Every new mother goes through matrescence. (19:32)

• Matrescence does not have an exact timeline. Even women who are thinking about motherhood are beginning their matrescence. Thus, everyone who is exploring their motherhood identity is experiencing the journey to parenthood. (19:40)

• Motherhood affects almost any aspect of a woman's life. (20:34)

• Being a mother is like a happy discomfort. (21:14)

The Feeling of Push and Pull

• Mothers are not robots. It is usual for them to question their decisions in life. (22:18)

• They also cannot turn off their fundamental, physical and intellectual needs for their babies. (22:36)

• Motherhood creates a push-and-pull effect. Mothers feel drawn to their babies because of evolutionary awareness in creating a hormonal bond. But women also miss their lives before they delivered their babies. The said feeling pushes mothers away from their babies. (23:51)

• As a reproductive psychiatrist, it is her role to educate women that the push-and-pull effect is usual for mothers to experience. (25:14)

Acceptance

• She runs the Motherhood Unfiltered project on Instagram, where women can freely share their motherhood stories. (26:18)

• Her project encourages women to celebrate the messy parts of motherhood. (26:42)

• Matrescence is a typical journey for every mother. Society should accept it for what it is and allow women to talk about it. (27:43)

Practical Things to Do

• Mothers need to ask for professional help. (31:22)

• It is also crucial that they ask for their partner's assistance so that they can have extra hours of sleep. They can also prepare pump bottles for evenings. (34:21)

• Mothers must believe and trust that matrescence is temporary, and it is natural for them to feel different emotions. (36:21)

• They should not forget to care for themselves during these times. (37:05)

• Mothers should also build a separate identity from your child. (37:36)

Dr. Alexandra's Gift to All Mothers in the World

• She would give them five magical hours of uninterrupted sleep. (41:05)

About Dr. Alexandra Sacks

Dr. Alexandra Sacks is a reproductive psychiatrist at the Columbia University Medical Centre. She leads the global conversation on the transition to motherhood. Her TED Talk episode about matrescence has over 1.5 million views - you can watch it here. Alexandra’s book, What No One Tells You: A Guide To Your Emotions From Pregnancy To Motherhood is available on Amazon.

For more insightful content, visit Alexandra’s website or find her over on Instagram.