Donna Ashworth: “The Life I’d Built Looked Perfect. So Why Was I So Unhappy?”

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode includes discussion of anorexia, postnatal depression and a traumatic birth experience.

What happens when you build a life that looks right on the outside, but leaves no room for who you really are?

Bestselling poet and mother of two Donna Ashworth joins Zoe for an honest, reassuring conversation about perfectionism, late-diagnosed autism and finding the courage to change your life.

Before becoming a bestselling writer, Donna ran a children’s soft play centre with her husband. She tried to be the perfect mother, wife, and friend while privately struggling. Writing became a way to express what she had been hiding, and eventually opened up a completely different future.

Donna shares how her son’s autism diagnosis prompted her family to rethink their lives, why her own diagnosis brought both grief and understanding, and what happened when she stopped trying to appear as though she had everything together.

💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why trying to be the perfect mother can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself.

  • How to take a first step towards change without waiting to feel confident.

  • How Donna’s late autism diagnosis helped her understand experiences she had spent years blaming herself for.

  • Why her family shifted their focus from achievement to calm, safety and acceptance.

  • How Donna approaches her inner critic and makes more space for self-compassion.

  • Why asking for help can create the connection you’ve been missing.

Together, Donna and Zoe explore the pressure to get motherhood right, the exhaustion of masking, and why courage often arrives after you take the first step.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, questioning your next chapter or wondering where you’ve gone in the middle of everyone else’s needs, this conversation offers a reminder: you’re allowed to build a life that feels better for you, too.

A thought to take with you:

You don’t have to feel brave before you begin. Donna’s experience is that courage grows as you take each step, with fear alongside you and support from the people around you.

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If you enjoyed this episode, you might also enjoy Zoe’s conversation with Anna Mathur: Accepting Uncomfortable Truths - how to live life more fully 

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This Motherkind episode is sponsored by:

  • Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply.

  • Grape Tree Feel Good Foods. Buy online at Grapetree.co.uk or find your local store


Key Topics: 

Motherhood identity • Perfectionism • Late-diagnosed autism • Neurodivergent motherhood • Parenting an autistic child • Masking • Self-acceptance • Mum guilt • Postnatal depression • Overthinking • Inner critic • Finding courage • Letting go of control • Asking for help • Career change after motherhood • Trusting your intuition • Redefining success • Creativity and writing • Finding yourself again • Donna Ashworth

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Dr Mindy Pelz: The Unexpected Thing That Changed When I Put Myself First