Why Motherhood Feels So Much Harder Than We Expected (You're Not Doing It Wrong)

Why does becoming a mother change us so deeply? And why does nobody really prepare us for it?

So many mothers believe they're doing something wrong because motherhood feels harder than they expected. But what if the problem isn't you?

In this powerful conversation, writer and bestselling author Lucy Jones explains the life-changing concept of matrescence – the physical, emotional, psychological and identity transition of becoming a mother. It's a word that has helped thousands of women finally understand why motherhood can feel so overwhelming, and why it's never "just" about having a baby.

Lucy and Zoe explore why modern motherhood can feel so isolating, why we place impossible expectations on mothers, and how understanding matrescence can replace guilt and shame with self-compassion.

If you've ever found yourself thinking "Why don't I feel like myself anymore?" or "Why is this so much harder than I thought it would be?" this episode will help you realise you're not failing. You're going through one of the biggest transitions of your life.

💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What matrescence is and why every mother should know about it

  • Why motherhood changes your identity so profoundly

  • How understanding matrescence can reduce guilt, shame and self-blame

  • Why the problem isn't mothers — it's the way modern motherhood is designed

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If you enjoyed this episode, you might also enjoy Zoe’s solo episodes: The word every mother needs to hear and Feeling Lost? This is how to rediscover you

Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet

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This Motherkind episode is sponsored by:

  • Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply.

Key Topics

Matrescence • Motherhood • Identity after motherhood • Modern motherhood • Losing yourself after having a baby • Maternal mental health • Motherhood guilt • Self-compassion • Mental load • Motherhood support • Parenting • Motherhood and identity • Emotional wellbeing • Early motherhood • Motherhood transition • Women's health • Maternal wellbeing • Motherhood culture

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The Burnout Doctor: Why So Many Mothers Think They're Failing (When It's Actually Burnout)