Ep. 162 - Re-release: Reflections on motherhood and redefining success with Ella Mills

Sep 2

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This week, I’m super excited to be speaking with Ella Mills.

Ella is the founder and creator of Deliciously Ella. From her early beginnings as a blogger, Ella has grown the brand into a hugely successful company, spanning a number of bestselling cookbooks, an app, a deli in central London and a range of plant-based food products. I’ve been following Ella online for a long time and we had such a brilliant conversation about motherhood and redefining success.

Ella is mum to her daughter Skye, who just turned one. When we recorded this conversation, she was 33 weeks pregnant and getting ready to give birth to her second child.

We talked about Ella’s experience of early motherhood from her first pregnancy and what she plans to do differently this time. She shares her journey with guilt and pressure and how she is finding balance as a mother and founder of a a very busy, successful company. We also talk about Ella’s own childhood and how it’s shaped how she is now raising her own daughters.

I really loved my conversation with Ella, and I hope you enjoy it too. As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so do come and join us there.

You can download a transcript of this week’s episode here.

Key takeaway’s from this week’s episode:

Pregnancy During a Pandemic:

Ella feels like her pregnancy this year is infinitely more comfortable than last year when she had her first child, Skye. (04:53)
She didn’t experience the aches and pains she had in her previous pregnancy. Ella attributes this to being locked down at home. (05:10)
She admits that balancing early motherhood and her career is a challenge both physically and mentally. (06:28)

Pushing Yourself:

Ella reflects on how she would do things differently after her second daughter is born. (08:14)
She remembers going back to work four weeks after giving birth to Skye. She’d been so exhausted trying to meet their publishing deadlines. (08:29)
Ella pushed herself so hard last year that she doesn’t recall taking a nap once during this time. (11:13)
She decided to take three weeks off work with her family, which helped her ‘come back to life’. (12:50)

Beating Yourself Up Over Expectations:

Ella realised that most of her stressors were coming from her expectations of herself as a mother. (14:09)
Even though she read a lot of stories about motherhood, the reality can be very different. (15:23)
She started to see that her daughter is independent and strong-willed and she shouldn’t beat herself up for not being the mother she wanted to be. (15:51)
Because of Skye, she began to understand that you can’t put expectations on your baby because they’re born with their own personality. (17:28)

On Being Grateful During a Pandemic:

Ella shares that having a baby teaches you a sense of presence and of being in the moment. (18:03)
Skye has helped her and her husband appreciate every little moment, which adults typically forget to do. (19:18)
Even though she was more prepared for her second pregnancy, she still thinks there’s probably never a right time to have a baby. (21:22)
Juggling early motherhood and a growing start-up isn’t easy. But knowing that her team can handle the work in her absence is incredibly reassuring. (22:06)

Lessons from Our Mothers:

Ella’s parents lived apart, while she and her husband always find themselves together at home and at work because they are business partners. (24:04)
In addition, Ella’s mother is a stay-at-home mom while she works on her business all the time. (24:39)
One of her concerns as a first-time mother is figuring out what qualifies as giving your child the best and what doesn’t. (26:04)
She thinks that, in the eyes of the public, she’s a better mother for balancing her home life and work life. (26:32)
Growing up, Ella saw motherhood as a form of martyrdom. She felt that her mother sacrificed a lot to raise them and that she had little time to give to herself. (29:51)

Relating Early Childhood to Later Success:

Ella grew up in the shadow of his older brother, who was a child prodigy. (34:00)
Looking back, she reflects that this attitude has allowed her to not be afraid of trying because the expectations for her weren’t high, to begin with. (35:28)
Her husband, who was a professional golfer, knew he wanted to play golf all his life when he was around four years old. (37:55)
As new parents, they are worried about the pressures of schooling on children. They understand that there’s so much success to be had in life outside of education. (39:17)
Ella is keen to make her daughters feel like they can explore anything and be disciplined with their passions. (40:21)

On Pursuing Personal Growth:

To Ella, success isn’t only accolades and big moments but also about pursuing personal growth. (41:47)
She believes human beings are supposed to evolve as a person, whether it’s through new hobbies or new relationships. (42:16)
Once Ella realised she didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, she reflected on what she wanted to do. She delegated to her team so that she could claim some of her time back. (44:33)

Valuing the Gift of Support:

Ella emphasises the importance of having a support system. She recalls receiving frozen breast milk from one friend when she had a low supply. (48:40)
The first year of motherhood was really hard for Ella, but she feels lucky that her husband stepped in to support her and Skye. (49:51)
She admits that sometimes it can be so lonely and isolating that mothers feel they’re doing it all wrong. (50:15)
Most importantly, Ella shares that mothers will benefit from supporting themselves through kindness and finding self-compassion. (50:37)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Deliciously Ella Cookbook by Ella Woodward
Deliciously Ella Season 3, Episode 11: Happiness As A Choice, with Gelong Thubten
Get access to over 400 healthy, plant-based recipes, meal planners, wellness videos, meditations and more. Download Deliciously Ella app and start feeling healthier and happier.
Learn tools to better support yourself and your children emotionally through the coronavirus pandemic. Join The Family Reset Plan workshop for a limited introductory price of £25. It’s FREE for all NHS Staff! Register today!
FREEBIES! Find out how you can take control of your life, reconnect to you, and more! Download ‘10 Ways to Reconnect to You’ and our weekly and monthly check-in on Motherkind.co.
Are you ready to find freedom from guilt? Let me help you find Freedom from Perfectionism if you are a mother who has ever felt not quite enough.

About Ella

Ella Mills is an entrepreneur and an English food writer who advocates for plant-based living. She is the founder of Deliciously Ella, a hugely successful wellness brand which spans a deli, a range of plant-based food products and a fantastic app, which aims to inspire others to live a healthier lifestyle through plant-based recipes and cooking videos.

Ella has published a total of five best-selling cookbooks, available in English, German, Spanish, Dutch and Portuguese. Her debut cookbook, Deliciously Ella: Awesome Ingredients, Incredible Food That You And Your Body Will Love, features more than 100 sugar-free, gluten-free and dairy-free recipes that are also available in the app. She also offers inspiring content through her podcast, social media pages and community newsletter.

You can find out more about Ella through her website and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.